Striking up a conversation with people you have just met can be intimidating or even baffling, but it is an essential skill for success in social and work situations. If
small talk doesn’t come naturally for you or even if you are a glib conversationalist, the FORD method can make initiating a conversation easier.
"FORD" is an acronym identifying four near-universal topics you can ask someone about in small-talk situations:
- Family
- Occupation
- Recreation
- Dreams
Lifehacker.com says “think of the FORD method as a way to jog your memory when your mind goes blank during a bit of small talk. Keep in mind that it's a tool, not a formula: You don't have to work through the categories in any order or hit on all four. In fact, some categories are better suited to some situations more than others, so consider the context before launching into your questions, lest you come across a bit robotic.”
Inc.com offers these entry-level sample questions for each category to get you started:
Family
- Do you have any siblings?
- How did you two meet? (if you are meeting a couple for the first time)
- How old is your child?
- How is your____ (sister, brother, mother, etc.) doing since ____ (event that happened)?
Occupation
- What do you do for a living?
- How do you like working at _____?
- What's your favorite part of your job?
- What made you interested in becoming a _____?
Or, if you're talking to someone who is still in college or training:
- What are you majoring in?
- Where are you interning right now?
- What are you hoping to do after you complete your degree?
Recreation
- What do you like to do for fun?
- Have you watched (or read) ______(popular show/book)?
- What are you up to this weekend?
Dreams
- Where do you hope to be working in the next few years?
- Where would you like to travel?
- What's something you'd like to try in the future?
- Would you ever consider trying _____ (particular hobby or activity)?
“[However], you shouldn’t just be an interviewer,” notes upworthy.com. “You have to talk about yourself, too. In other words, you need a mutual take-and-give. Not sure how much to say during a conversation? Follow the 43:57 rule. A numbers guy at Gong.io analyzed over 25,000 sales calls with AI and found the perfect speaking-to-listening ratio. Sales soared when the salesperson talked 43% of the time and listened for 57%.”
