The holiday season kicks off this month and usually when we think of the holidays we imagine happy celebrations. But despite what holiday movies, TV shows, andsongs try to tell us, holidays are not always jolly. In fact, a ValuePenquin survey of 2,100 Americans reveals that more than half of them report “experiencing sadness and loneliness during the holidays.” Mental health professionals call this the holiday blues—feelings of stress, anxiety, depression, and sadness that surround the holiday season.
According to clinical psychologist Michelle Paul quoted at psychology.org,” triggers include memories of lost loved ones, and with that, a sense of yearning or aching to be with them," along with "too high or unrealistic expectations for what things 'should' or 'must' be."
The University of Rochester Medical Center suggests these ways to ease the holiday blues:
- “Stick to your normal routine as much as you can.
- Set a realistic budget and then stick to it.
- Set realistic goals and expectations.
- Limit alcohol intake.
- Don’t be afraid to say no. Don’t go to parties when you don’t really have time. Don’t take on events that will crowd your time. Don’t overextend yourself. Don't spend time with people who add to your stress.
- Find time for yourself every day.”
If remembrances of loved ones who are gone bring you down during the holidays Partners in Care, an Oregon-based non-profit home health care organization, offers these strategies to help manage those emotions:
- “Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s important to recognize and accept your feelings of grief and loss. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or overwhelmed during a time that is generally associated with joy and celebration.
- Create New Traditions: While maintaining old traditions can sometimes amplify feelings of loss, creating new ones can offer a way to honor your loved one while adapting to their absence. This could be as simple as lighting a candle in their memory or visiting their favorite place.
- Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family, or support groups who can provide empathy and understanding. Sometimes, just knowing that you’re not alone in your grief experience can be comforting.
- Limit Obligations: Feel free to say no to events or gatherings that feel too overwhelming. It’s important to set boundaries and prioritize your own well-being.
- Honor Your Loved One: Find a special way to remember and honor the person you have lost. This could involve sharing stories about them, looking through photo albums, or playing their favorite music.
- Find Joy in Memories: Allow yourself to remember and cherish the happy times you had with your loved one. Recalling these memories can bring a sense of comfort and connection.
- Look for New Sources of Joy: While it’s important to honor your grief, also try to be open to new experiences and sources of happiness. This could be forming new friendships, adopting a pet, or starting a new hobby.”
You can also help others who may be down at this time of year. Watch for changes in the mood and behavior of friends and family. Healthyaging.org offers these five ways you can help them overcome the holiday blues:
“Include them: Invite them out and to get-togethers. Take into account their needs, such as transportation or special diets.
- Lend a hand: Offer to help them with their cleaning, shopping, cooking, and other preparations such as decorating for get-togethers in their homes.
- Be a good listener: Be a supportive listener and encourage discussions about feelings and concerns.
- Acknowledge difficult feelings: Including a sense of loss if family or friends have died or moved away.
- Encourage them to talk with their healthcare provider.”
The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) offers this final important piece of advice for beating the holiday blues: “Be patient. The holiday blues are short-term. Take things week-by-week, day-by-day.”
However, NAMI points out that “[T]he difference between holiday blues and clinical anxiety or depression is that the feelings are temporary…[S]hort term problems must be taken seriously because they can lead to long term mental health conditions.” If you suspect that you or someone you care about are depressed know that depression is a treatable medical illness and not something to be ashamed of. Talk to your primary healthcare provider or get other professional help. You can also call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for help.
